THE WORLD OF MRS TROY

HOW TO MAKE A MARRIAGE LAST!

2009-11-04T19:03:00.009Z

Don't you just love all the emails that get sent around the world? I received one today called 'My Wife'. I just loved it and thought I would share it with anyone out there, so here goes:-

"My Wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:

Two times a week, we go out to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds, her's is in London and mine is in
Bristol.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary." Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands, if I let go she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and an electric bread
maker and doesn't use any of them. Then she said "there are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair, but she won't use that either.

Remember. marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

Statistically 100% of all divorces start with marriage. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "what's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.

In the beginning God created the earth then rested.

Then God created man and rested.

Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested."

I expect, in this completely PC (politically correct) obsessed country, that some of you may be offended by the comments above, but all I can say is 'Tough - you didn't have to read it', and please no complaints from any women libbers out there as I don't want to hear the complaints - lets just have a laugh and enjoy!

NEVER PROMISE A CHILD ANYTHING!

2009-07-16T14:02:00.008+01:00

This week has been an interesting week in the Troy household. Many, many months ago we promised Troy Junior (TJ) that we would buy him a Wii if he got straight 'A's in this year's school report. We only made the promise as we thought we were making a really safe bet - a 'we couldn't lose' situation. Well this week TJ walked out of school with his brown envelope addressed to 'The Parents/Guardian of TJ' (all very politically correct!). TJ wanted to open it immediately, however we wanted to drag out the suspense so told him we would open it when we got home, "Ugh" was his reply, said in a way that only eight year olds can say "Ugh".

We got home, made a cup of tea and then the three of us sat round the kitchen table. I opened the envelope, I read the report, I looked at the grades, I smiled. As each subject came up I actually wasn't sure whether to cringe or smile. I wanted to cringe as, to my great surprise he was heading towards getting a Wii, or smile as I was, as some people would say 'Gobsmacked' at what I was reading. I got to half way down the second page with a feeling of panic that Troy and I were soon to be 'financially bankrupted' by the purchase of a Wii, when suddenly before my very eyes up popped the grade 'B'. 'Oh thank God for that' I thought. We were saved from bankruptcy! Never before has the letter B had such an affect on our finances!

TJ was quite saddened by the fact that he wasn't going to get his Wii, but we said that seeing as he had done extremely well in his report he could choose something else that he would like, not so expensive, and I knew exactly what that was going to be, and it was,...Lego Police City.

Troy and I are very happy as our son had an excellent report and we aren't bankrupt! TJ is equally as happy with his Lego City...with no further mention of having a Wii.

No doubt though the Wii will now on his Father Christmas list!

So the moral of this story is never promise a child anything that in reality you are not prepared to get them!

FIRST PASSPORT AT 71 YEARS OLD!

2009-04-29T14:32:00.002+01:00

I was listening to Terry Wogan's morning radio show on my way to work yesterday and a listener had written in about her mother.

Her mother was 71 years old and was applying for her first passport. She had been born and bred here in the UK but she was still 'required' to attend an interview in order to ensure that she was eligible for a UK passport.

Before the interview her husband had reminded her that she just needed to answer any questions honestly.

So off she went to the interview.

During the interview, which to her had seemed to be going on and on and on with mind blowingly dumb questions, she asked the interviewee if she could ask them just one question. The reply was 'yes of course'. Then followed the question:

"Why is it so hard to get out of this country when it is so easy to get into it?"

The interviewee was unable to answer!

The interview was then 'wound up' very quickly and the lady was finally allowed her UK passport.

ONLY IN AMERICA!

2009-04-28T14:33:00.002+01:00

I had to laugh at an item of news this morning, it wasn't the item that was funny it was just the fact that it could only happen in America!

Someone decided to organise a low level flight of the Presidential Airforce One jumbo jet around New York City...followed by a fighter jet! Why you may ask, well it was for an all important 'photo shoot' of the plane to get good photos of it against the New York skyline.

Can you imagine the poor people on the ground or in skyscrapers and what they must have been thinking as the Jumbo banked steeply around their city followed by a fighter jet. What memories the scene must have brought back to thousands of people.

I, and I imagine many New Yorkers, didn't find the stunt particularly funny, but what I did find amusing was the fact that there is some numty in a highly paid job sat in their office who actually had the idea to fly a jumbo low across the New York skyline. Have they not heard of 9/11, did they not see any of the news as the shocking events of that day unfolded, and have they not seen any details of that day since then?

The 'photo shoot' was around half an hour long, and caused the evacuation of a number of buildings.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg later made a statement saying that he was 'furious'..how polite can the man get. He also described the whole event as being in 'poor judgement'.

Lets hope that the person who organised the photo shoot and all of those who approved it get fired.

GRUMPY OLD SOD!

2009-04-06T12:20:00.005+01:00

I have recently come across a website, which if you are feeling a little fed up with life is worth going to have a look at. It is really very amusing but not always politically correct. So if you do take a look please don't come back and blame me if you have been offended by it!

There are words used in it that children really shouldn't see. Unless you are more liberated than myself as to what you let your children see, I wouldn't let them see it!

I can't say I agree with all their comments but there are some very amusing ones!

The website is: http://www.grumpyoldsod.com/

If you scroll down the left hand side they have a section called 'W----r of the week' (rhymes with anchor!). This has been very amusing in the past.

Hope you enjoy your visit to it.

BIG BROTHER - TAKES A BREAK

2009-04-06T11:54:00.002+01:00

As you know from my blog I have been following 'events' with regards to the Government's ContactPoint database.

The latest news on this database, from articles that I have recently read, have had the following headlines:

"Security flaws hit child protection database again" and "A quarter of official databases fall foul of the law, say experts"

The ContactPoint database oversees EVERY child in England. There is no effective opt-out and inadequate security. The database is in disarray after significant security flaws were uncovered. Its launch has been delayed after local authorities discovered loop-holes in the system designed to hide the details of children.

It is the third time the introduction of the database has been delayed, cost to date £224 million, and there have been fresh calls for it be be scrapped. I will vote for that idea!

It has been described as "almost certainly illegal" by the Joseph Rowntree Reform Trust.

The latest setback emerged when it was found that files were being generated automatically by feeds from central government databases. This meant that if a child's details had been hidden (an option ONLY available to 'vulnerable children' at the Councils discretion) copies of their personal details were still on the system.

This whole database seems to be yet another complete and utter waste of Tax payers money, but I suppose one positive thing is that it is keeping people in jobs!

I LOVE MY NEW WASHING MACHINE!

2009-03-31T16:37:00.005+01:00

After the sad passing away of our old washing machine, which we think was around fifteen years old, we recently took delivery of a new machine.Our old machine had given us long and reliable service and we were reluctant to replace it but our washing was just starting to smell like the sewage works!

This weekend I had a bit of a disaster with our new machine. The manufacturers recommend to use liquid wash, which they supplied initially, and I used up. Being very pleased with the washes I had had to date, before the stuff ran out, I went to the supermarket to replace it. It was then that I found out how much it cost.. I bought traditional washing powder!.

At the weekend I used the washing powder and the machine didn't like it!. Our clothes came out caked in soggy washing powder. They did smell fantastic though. Clean! I felt like one of those sad women on the adverts when they get excited over the smell of their washing. I could almost see little butterflies, and pink petals flying round my kitchen!

Realising that the powder and the machine were not going to get on together I again went off to the supermarket. This time, unable to find 'liquid' wash I bought some wash 'gel'. I was partly persuaded by the fact that it washes at temp's from 15degrees. I wasn't thinking 'green' but just how much money it might save in electricty not having to heat up the water.

In went all the clothes again but this time with the gel. The gel, according to instructions had to be put in the machine and not in the powder drawer. At the end of the wash the clothes came out...this time they were caked in a slimy gel!. I then hand washed them!

I have just put a coat and some sheets in to wash, with the recommended amount of gel. When I went to check the machine it was full of bubbles, with no clothes insight. I am now waiting for the wash cycle to complete to see what has happened.

So will the washing be caked in slimy gel, or just in big white bubbles? Watch this space

How hard can washing be!

BIG BROTHER UPDATE

2009-03-21T15:03:00.000Z

Well today I have received a reply from Elaine Gordon of the Public Communications Unit for the Department Of Children,Schools and Families, and it is as follows:

Thank you for your email of 3 March about ContactPoint.
I should first explain that ContactPoint is a basic tool designed to support practitioners working with children, young people and families. As you are aware, it will contain only limited and basic information such as the name, address, gender, date of birth and unique ID for the child or young person; the name and contact details for parents or carers; contact details for the educational setting, primary medical practitioner, and practitioners providing other services for example a health visitor or a social worker. ContactPoint does not and will not hold any case information (such as case notes or details of any assessments, medical data or exam results).
The records of some children, whose circumstances may mean that they, or others, are at increased risk of harm, may be subject to ‘shielding’. Shielding removes the contact details of the child or young person and their parent/carer, together with those of any practitioners involved with them. It is for people who are at risk of significant harm, such as victims of domestic violence. Local authorities (LAs) look after the information of children resident in their area; I would suggest that you discuss your concerns with your LA. Under the Data Protection Act 1998 you have the right to ask to see what information is held on your children. It is known as a Subject Access Request and LAs are required to manage requests locally. Contact details for your LA can be found at the Department’s website: www.dcsf.gov.uk/leagateway.
Yours sincerely
Elaine Gordon Public Communications Unit http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/

I feel so much better for receiving her answer...NOT.

It appears that children that are 'at risk of significant harm' can have their details 'shielded' to protect them.

To me, this implies that without their details being 'shielded' they would be exposed to harm. Therefore the implication remains that children on the database that have not been 'shielded' could be open to harm.

I do not understand why my child and other children do not ALL have the same right as every other child in this country to such protection or as the Government call it 'shielding'.

I know I am going on about this but as a parent I spend my time trying to protect my child, and this database has been 'imposed' on my child.

Many people with children do not even know of the existence of this database, which goes live in June 2009. It was only by a chance, reading an article where independant schools are up in arms about it, that I even got to hear of it.

I am going to follow up Elaine's suggestion and take up my 'right' and ask my local authority what information they are holding on my child.

I know I am wasting my time but at least I will know that I have done evrything possible to stop my childs details going onto the database.

PARENTS BEWARE - BIG BROTHER DOES EXIST!

2009-03-19T15:26:00.000Z

I have recently become aware of a new Government database to go live in June 2009. It is called 'ContactPoint'.

The Government thinks it is a wonderful idea as it, and I quote, 'will be the quick way to find out who else is working with the same child or young person, making it easier to deliver more coordinated support'.

The information that will be held on ContactPoint is as follows:

-Name,address,gender,date of birth for ALL children (up to their 18th birthday)
-Name and contact details for:
Parents or carers
School
Primary medical practioner (e.g. GP practice)
Other services working with the child

After a lengthy trawl through the internet I learnt that some children's details will be shielded so that some of the information cannot be accessed. So I spoke to the contact person at my Local Authority, asking for my son's details to be shielded on this database.

I was told that my son's details 'have to be on the database and cannot be shielded', and that the database 'is very secure with lots of different levels of security. At the primary level the user will have a 'token' which has to be used in conjunction with a password and PIN'. "Oh" I thought (aloud) "that will be really secure when the token is kept in the office drawer next to the slip of paper with the password and PIN on it'!.

I then suggested that it maybe as secure as the disks left on a train with every child's family allowance details on, or the disks that got 'lost in the post'. I was informed that the information couldn't be downloaded onto a disk! Since when has it been impossible to download something from a computer onto a disk?

We got past that conversation and I then asked "Why does every child's details need to be held?"

It all came back to Victoria Climbie. The lady said "She could have been saved if the system was running then".

I said that a case like that, horrific as it was, was a tiny minority, and I explained that there are actually parents in the country that are very capable of bringing up their children in an as safe as possibly human environment. I felt that putting my child's information onto a database would effectively be exposing him to a whole new group of people to whom he would not normally be exposed.

Well I wasn't going to win, was I? The Government has 'ordered' that every child will have their details on the database whether we as parents want it or not. Of course some children's details will be shielded, but we can't choose, only the authorities can do that. Probably just children at risk will be shielded!!!!!

What a lovely 'free' country we now live in..NOT!

I closed the conversation by saying that "as usual it is the minority that are ruling the majority".

So if you share my concerns it maybe worth taking a look at the website www.everychildmatters.gov.uk/contactpoint

The other 'good' thing about this Database is the cost of it. Expected cost of setting it up is £224million and the annual cost of running it is £41million. Just think what £41million annually could do for ALL children, and just think what the £224million could have done for ALL children. Or if not for ALL children what it could have done for the Victoria Climbies of this country.

A SHORT STORY

2009-03-03T14:36:00.000Z

The Troy family were sat at the dining room table last night eating our evening meal when Troy asked Troy Jnr to make up a short story. At just eight years old the last thing Troy Jnr wanted to do was think of a short story, so yes the arguing began

Troy 'Oh come on it only needs to be a short story'
Troy Jnr ' No I don't want to'
Troy 'Oh go on'
Troy Jnr ' NO!!'

and it went on and on between them. I can't stand arguing at the dinner table, or at any time for that matter, so I stupidly piped up saying that I would make up a short story!. I have never been very good at 'impromptu' events like this, and I kind of regretted what I had just said.

Troy and Troy Jnr both qucikly responded 'OK, go on then' - knowing full way that I was not good at this kind of thing.

Now having been put under such pressure, and not wanting to lose face, I started my short story and this is how it went:

'Once upon a time there was and old man'...followed by a short silence (to add effect) then I continued 'He died, the end'. And that was it my short story!

Troy was not amused! Troy Jnr was in fits of giggles!

I was so proud that I had just made up a classic short story.

OKAY I'M BACK!

2009-02-06T17:31:00.000Z

By popular demand (well two readers) I have decided to return to blogland. It is my intention never to do anything political on here as it seems to bring out what I consider to be the less pleasant individuals. I appreciate people have different opinions but there are ways of expressing them politely.

I was very pleased to win the following award from DJ Kirkby on her Wordless Wednesday caption competition. My husband (Troy) was reluctant to let me enter it but I just ignored him. (This is often the best policy!) So imagine how happy I was when he phoned me at work to tell me I'd won.

DEPARTING THE WORLD OF BLOGGING

2009-01-25T12:16:00.000Z

I am afraid I am leaving the world of blogging.

I have found from reading other blogs, that there are some really quite agressive, unpleasant people out there, and I do not wish to expose my family to them. The problem with blogging is you don't know who the readers are, where they are or what they could do to my family.

So here I go....Goodbye.

Thank you to the nice people out there but I am afraid the 'not so nice people' have scared me off blogging.